How do you feel about forgiveness? What do you mean by the term? To me it simply means not letting resentment poison my life. If there’s nothing I can do to remedy a situation, or to prevent the person who has hurt me from hurting someone else, I try to learn from my experience, let it go and move on. Some times that takes a lot more work than at others! 😀
What about you? Do you think forgiveness is a lovely idea? Do you agree with Lewis that most people do?
A common saying is “forgive and forget.” Some significant emotional occurrences are such that forgetting is impossible. In those instances, I forgive, but regret that things didn’t happen differently.
Case in point: My parents separated when I was very young and there were several years in my childhood when neither parent was present in my life. All is long since forgiven, but I occasionally have deep pangs of regret related to the normal childhood that wasn’t.
I personally believe that forgiving is not possible. One can pretend to the world that s/he has forgiven. If one could have done something about whatever triggered the stimulus, the issue would have been resolved then and there. Inner turmoil and re-living the hurt will not go away ever. What one can do is to face up to that fact, accept that there is nothing you can do about it, and move on. Whenever the memory bubbles up, as it will, observe it for being just a thought, let it pass, and get on with other things. Over a period of time, the frequency of such occurrences will reduce.
Mile,
I can sure sympathize with that.
Rummuser,
I agree, painful feelings do happen in life. And that it doesn’t make sense to let them jerk us around forever. Patience, commitment and practice are the keys.
I think CS was pretty right. If we didn’t feel like that forgiveness wouldn’t be needed.
I guess my basic definiton of forgiveness is no longer feeling vengeful.
Evan,
Your definition is pretty much like mine.
I think more people don’t believe in forgiveness than do, but I have no facts to back me up. It’s just a gut feeling.
Forgiving is easy … but how to stop thinking about getting even?
Looney, if you’re thinking how to get even— you haven’t forgiven.
Someone is a problem? People don’t realize that THEY are probably part of the problem. Maybe even the cause of the problem. Ah, gee. I think Jean taught me that.
BHB, I agree with you entirely! Our age has a common phenomenon of people embracing a word, but rejecting the definition of the word, so I poked a little fun.
Yes Looney and that was REALLY funny. I was kinda out of it.
It’s wild & crazy here with us & 5 family others all talking at once. (Swedes that visit say in Sweden they only talk one at a time.)