This comic reminds me of the last two posts at Still the Lucky Few about searching for the look of youth.
I gave up that idea years ago, long before it became hopeless for me. Jenny Joseph’s approach was a lot more fun and liberating:
When I am an old woman I shall wear purple
With a red hat which doesn’t go, and doesn’t suit me.
And I shall spend my pension on brandy and summer gloves
And satin sandals, and say we’ve no money for butter.
I shall sit down on the pavement when I’m tired
And gobble up samples in shops and press alarm bells
And run my stick along the public railings
And make up for the sobriety of my youth.
I shall go out in my slippers in the rain
And pick flowers in other people’s gardens
And learn to spit.You can wear terrible shirts and grow more fat
And eat three pounds of sausages at a go
Or only bread and pickle for a week
And hoard pens and pencils and beermats and things in boxes.But now we must have clothes that keep us dry
And pay our rent and not swear in the street
And set a good example for the children.
We must have friends to dinner and read the papers.But maybe I ought to practice a little now?
So people who know me are not too shocked and surprised
When suddenly I am old, and start to wear purple.
I’m familiar with the poem. It made the rounds a few years ago, and I think may have been the inspiration for the Red Hat Ladies. (I’m not sure about that!). But yes, discomfort about aging dogs us at every turn, if we let it. So that’s the secret—don’t let it get to you!
Yes, it was the inspiration for the Red Hat Society. It’s more fun to wear a red hat than to worry about artificial ways of trying to make ourselves look younger.
I have never seen what all the fuss is over. I truly haven’t.
I’ve been the odd duck in every group. it all seems like so much nonsense!
I can play the game with the best of them. but I KNOW it’s not the real me.
when I finally gave myself permission to be that real person it was so liberating! now I simply smile and say “no thanks!” to shopping and groups!
perhaps I just wasn’t competitive enough. but the same things that motivate most other people don’t motivate me. so I never did “get it!”
I think Diane’s right. that poem was the start of the purple clothes and red hat group. it’s international! so a lot of purple clothed red hat wearing ladies!
but oddly enough I always kind of think they’re ‘trying too hard.’ that they’re still uncomfortable in simply being content with who they are as an individual. but I can’t really go by that either since I’m not a ‘joiner of groups!’
I’m not a joiner either and have never been interested in clothes, shoes, etc. I still remember going to a number of eye doctors after I graduated from college and was earning some money. I wanted to see if anyone could help me with my chronic eyestrain. One fellow wasn’t interested in that, but he wanted to sell me contact lenses for looks. I told him I wasn’t interested. He looked at my sensible shoes and said maybe when I got interested in boys and started wearing high heels I would change my mind. Andy and I were already engaged and he liked my sensible shoes. Too funny.
Hm. I’ve never understood that bit about wearing purple, I must have grown up in the wrong subculture to get it. Wearing purple? So what?
But I do agree with the overall encouragement to loosen up, if a tight and dutiful life is what has been one’s experience before retirement. I am now surrounded by retired people who are funny and energetic and involved in all sorts of things and not defying convention by being that way –no, I’m not in a retirement community, but I do live on an island where something like 40% of the people are over 65. People like to look smug and say we’re the county with the highest percentage of unemployed PhDs.
We have a lot of involved old folks here, too. We love being retired. 🙂
I have so much to say about this…
Too much for just a comment, so I won’t share ALL my thoughts.
But… I think Red Hat wearing Purple ladies are just another little clique of women. Blah.
Yeah, count me out of THAT group.
And also out of the group of women who are desperately trying to look young when it’s so obvious that they no longer are.
And out of the group that just doesn’t give a damn anymore and doesn’t try at all.
And out of the group that wears what they think to appropriate for their age and safe.
In fact, like Tammy, don’t count me in ANY group at all.
I just want to be me.
Some days it might be a bit tailored
and other days it’s wearing a sweatshirt.
Also, I like a bit of “paint” on my face and style to my hair. I might be getting older but I’m not dead.
I mean, I like planting flowers and making art, why wouldn’t I want that to extend to myself? LOL!
Not in some vain effort to look young, sexy or whatever, but just to feel good about myself and not to scare small children when they look at me.
😉
🙂
I love it!
Fortunately I don’t meet many small children, so I don’t really have to worry about them. 😀
I am bald with a friar’s fringe, almost fully grey beard, I wear glasses, I am pot bellied and overweight and I don’t walk, I waddle with a walking stick. Fellows of my age use hair dye, go for hair transplant or wear wigs, work out at gyms for hours together wear clothes that teenagers wear and they look askance at me for being unhip. I would rather be unhip than artificial. i am comfortable in my skin.
That’s interesting about the fellows you know. As you can tell from Diane’s posts it’s more of a female thing here. Thank you!
I’ve always liked real purple, though seldom owned many clothes that were.
I love some shades of purple, but like you I seldom buy purple clothes. In fact, if I like something I buy several so I don’t have to decide what to wear. Monotony is my middle name. 🙂
and so you decide to join the Red Hat Society – you buy all the gear, you can’t just buy any old gear, you have to shop at the right place…you get your gear on, and go to the first “gig” and you absolutely hate it…
oops, can I on-sell these new duds?
I’ve gone from being heavily involved in groups and events to someone who just loves being home…one of my friends seems worried!
And another can’t understand why I love going to the Retreat place, as an individual. I’m off again around mid April…booked in as well 🙂
I’ve assumed it’s not that regimented, it’s more about the spirit, but I’m not a joiner so I don’t know. As long as they’re having fun I think it’s a great idea for them.
I’m more like the poem than the comic strip. Comfortable vs. fighting it.
The Red Hat groups I’ve seen out and about were having lots of fun. I thought about joining one once but when I learned who was in charge of that particular group and their restrictions I knew that group would not be fun.
Cathy, yes, you can buy any old gear. As long as the hat is red and part of the clothes are some shade of purple. After all, this is a defiant group.
I was guessing it depends on who are in the group. At least if you don’t know anyone ahead of time, you don’t have to invest much money. Silver Sneakers is the only group I go to now, and that’s more about exercise than interacting.
I’ve seen that poem several times, it’s wonderful. I think if I lived alone I would no doubt have developed a lot of those tendencies. It’s probably only Jenny and her sense of public decorum who keeps me from running riot.
One doesn’t have to actually do anything different to feel liberated inside. Hurray for her! 🙂