Tempi
Zoe
Tempi and Zoe
When Kaitlin and I were talking on the phone a week from last Sunday, there was suddenly a lot of loud barking in the background. It turned out Tempi was sitting on the couch looking out the window, as she loves to do, and Zoe was barking in her ear, apparently trying to get Tempi’s attention. Tempi didn’t even flinch.
Tempi doesn’t have hearing problems, so do you think she was just focusing so completely she didn’t notice, or was she simply ignoring Zoe and maybe sending a nonverbal message? What do you think? Do you think ignoring a pesky person is sometimes a good strategy?
October 10, 2018
I’m thinking she was ignoring. given that she’s so amazingly smart.
sometimes it just takes patient ‘knowing’ that ignoring the barking person is the thing they hate the most! LOL
they are both such beautiful dogs!
the one of Zoey literally laying across her just nonchalantly chewing her bone… LOLOL. priceless.
Yes, Tempi is super smart. And sometimes patient.
Serious question, Tammy: Why would you, knowingly, do something that “is the thing they hate the most”?. It’s an alien concept to me.
I wonder since you don’t strike me as particularly vindictive; in fact, you largely come across as quite thoughtful (your many lols notwithstanding – LOL).
U
Serious question, U. If you had a pesky, provocative person in your life would you rise to the bait or ignore it?
Thanks for making me laugh, Jean, in recognition of myself. Alas, maybe to my disadvantage, I tend to rise to bait. It appears largely impossible for me to ignore anyone. Benignly so, with good intention – regardless of how my attentions are interpreted by others (on the net).
U
So why do you sometimes provoke on sites that have clearly told you they don’t like it? Presumably you are aware of their reaction so you do it knowingly, but somehow that action is not alien to you?
sometimes I think it’s because you can’t get a “word” (bark) in edgeways as it is…when someone has a rant that they believe is their right…the best way to deal with it is to occasionally mutter the ummmmm sound.
I’m particularly adept with this ummmmm when someone is trying to tell me that something I’m doing is all very wrong, and I should be doing it this way. I have a few connections where I hardly talk about xyz – as it sets them off big time. And whatever I attempt to say on xyz matter, just means they have to repeat the instructions all over again (once one said I must be deaf because I wasn’t taking it in) I wasn’t deaf, I just hadn’t realised I shouldn’t have said xyz in the first bloody place…Of course, it took me some time to realise this!
I know some people like that too, one sometimes has to steer the conversations away from ranting. Then there are some people on the internet who respond to a comment with complete nonsense as they try to tear someone else down. They often assume they know what the other person is about just because they’ve made up a story and believe it. I think sometimes it is best to say something in a case like that because of the meanness involved.
my connection person, isn’t being “mean” in the true sense, they just believe that the “problem would be best solved” if I did xyz…
an example: a few months ago the doctor suggested Vit C tabs to help the immune system, my friend said “that’s stupid, you should be taking multi-vits because obviously your diet is lacking…” ooops I should have just said “nothing..” but no I said “my diet is not lacking…” and that completely set off another rant!
Yes, there is a big difference, but it’s sad that some people feel they have to interfere, for our “own good”, of course.
What a beautiful dog Tempi is – such poise. Zoe makes me laugh. That kink in her ear tells you all you need to know.
I’d say that Tempi was just unperturbed by Zoe’s barking. Some people are like that too, filtering out noise when concentrating on something.
Back to humans, and your question: I don’t “ignore” people, pesky or not, not least because I don’t like humiliating others. I find it easy to give someone my attention, and just as quickly concentrate again on what I was doing (a most useful trait when you have kids or work with children). What I find challenging, occasionally but not really, are the “needy” – a variety of which you can find in blogging circles; the type that needs constant validation by others as if, otherwise, they feel they don’t exist. I pity them as I can’t imagine it a comfortable position to be in. As an aside, Jean: The “needy” cannot be satisfied – ever. There will always be something “missing” unless you give them your unquestioning adulation. Squared times pi. It gets wearying after a time. Even boring. And I say that as someone who rarely if ever gets bored with anyone or anything.
Anyway, thumbs up to both Tempi and Zoe and their differing temperaments. The art lies in how to accommodate each other! And that they appear to do.
U
Nice compliments for the pups. đ
I havenât noticed âexceptionally needyâ people on the internet, but I wonder if some people misinterpret your provocative style as a demand for attention. Just food for thought.
The “needy” are plentiful in blogland, Jean. I don’t attract them on my blog – or rather, they are so wound up in themselves, the needy quickly try and absolve themselves from me in their comment boxes, even if I say something “nice”. With the intellectually less inclined you can guarantee one thing: Once they PERCEIVE you as critical (which I am though I’d call it “challenging a view”) you are a goner. You may, consequently, try and charm birds out of their respective trees they’ll circle even the most well intentioned comment like a cat does her food bowl. In that respect give me a dog any day.
And, yes, you are right, there are people who “misinterpret” my “provocative style” as attention seeking. Leaving aside that challenging someone’s view has nothing to do with attention seeking, one may ask many questions: What’s wrong with seeking attention? It’s what a shrinking violet does, if only by shrinking into the background, noticed by everyone. What’s wrong with provoking thought? Nothing. Except it makes some people uncomfortable. Not least the plain lazy who will put both their plights and delights out there in blogland, more interested in collecting “likes” and “followers” than content. If that sounds harsh it’s because it is. The very definition of “needy” is to be liked at all cost. There are bloggers who take their neediness to heights I didn’t think possible. If only they knew how badly that reflects on THEM. But, yes, I do feel sorry for them. Maybe they didn’t feel loved enough by their mothers. Who knows.
U
“Whatâs wrong with provoking thought?” The question is do you really think about what you write, do you check your assumptions? Do you ask what other people think? Should other commenters bother to point out when you are wrong? You appear to believe that your words are the authoritative ones, so why would they bother? If you are trying to provoke real thinking rather than just stirring things up, is what you’re doing getting you closer to what you want?
Leaving aside dogs, I would say that ignoring a pesky person is always a good strategy. I do have a couple of such characters in my life and that is the policy that I follow.
On the other hand, if the person is hurting other people sometimes itâs best to say something.
Sometimes ignoring a pesky person is the only practical response. If dropping gentle hints that they’re an irritating nuisance has no effect, then ignoring them is all you can do.
Yes, no desire to get down in the mud.
After reading the comments I would say ignore the pesky.
Especially if the twit is a bore who likes to act the intellectual.
I doubt she has any friends outside of blogland, if she did she wouldnât spend so much time here trying to sound superior.
Life is too short, just ignore the nasty woman, who has time for that crap?
(I like the fact that Tammy LOLâs. When I read her comments I interpret it as though sheâs happy and laughing and upbeat. We definitely need more of that type of tone than some bitter critical opinions from a self-important troll).
Wow! Don’t anyone mess with tammy, she has a powerful backup. No neediness here. đ
I like LOL and đ emoji’s as well – they sum up – without right a whole reasoning essay on “why” something amuses one…YMMV
YMMV. I hadnât heard that one before and itâs interesting that it came from âyour mileage may varyâ. Itâs simpler than DPLDT. Thanks, you teach me a lot and I love it. LOL and đ
one of my friends – on one of my e-lists used YMMV at the end of every post she made…I remember when we used all those “letters” for all kinds of situations on-line. You could almost write a whole message with them…:-)
Thatâs a great way to end a letter, about as nondogmatic as you can get. Much better than friends who think they possess the truth and insist you are wrong if you disagree with them.