I think I need to keep being creative, not to prove anything but because it makes me happy just to do it … I think trying to be creative, keeping busy, has a lot to do with keeping you alive.
—Willie Nelson
What makes you happy, feel truly alive? For me it’s solving problems and learning new things. Diane’s latest post about retired couples reminded me of a 2013 post:
Parallel Play
Parallel play—two individuals engrossed in separate but parallel activities.
The author of a recent Wall Street Journal article on the subject says,
One issue has become abundantly clear: Individuals who do almost everything together in later life—who are “joined at the hip”—usually aren’t as satisfied or fulfilled as couples where spouses have their own interests and, ideally, are learning new skills.
Do you agree with that statement? I don’t know about other couples, but it certainly works for Andy and me. (Because we’re both cheerful geeks?)
What works for you?
March 5, 2019
I totally agree with this, Jean. Also with the need to be creative. What keeps me “tuned up” is writing, although I think solving problems and learning new things is a sure way to stay involved, happy and keep the juices flowing!
Amen to that!
This could be true. Wade and I had nothing in common and mainly did our own thing. I think it also helped me when he passed away. Had we been “joined at the hip” I think it would have doubled the amount of grief
Andy warned me when we got married that he was five years older than me and men tend to die five years younger than women, so I should expect to be a window the last ten years of my life. Not a pleasant idea, but I thought it was sweet of him. I agree, having one’s own interests has to be a help. He and I both agree that when one of us dies the other will be left with a huge hole in their life, assuming we’re not lucky and go together.
Parallel Play makes perfect sense to me. My husband and I used to do ‘show and tells’ all the time, basically telling one another about our days. We did things together but we enjoyed our separate interests as well and sharing what we learned each day was part of the joy.
I can relate to that! When Andy and I traveled in our early marriage, we didn’t have that much to talk about in the evening because we had done everything together and had already talked about it. Now we have a lot to share when we get together.
Mom and Dad will have their 48th wedding anniversary this year. They have probably had a marriage of parallel play, both with very different lines of work, but both with similar goals. It seems to have worked well for them:)
Woos – Lightning, Misty, and Timber
Andy and I have been married over 54 1/2 years and agree, it’s a great way to live. 🙂
Well as a single, I now go with a Flow…steep but interesting learning curve with just my phone on this current journey…every now and then it reveals a neat way to do something
Learning something new about the phone is an added benefit. 🙂
I do agree. Jenny and I spend a lot of time doing things separately, as we have very different interests. Then we share what we’ve been doing on our own, which enriches our relationship. I shudder at the thought of us trailing after each other like ducklings.