Yesterday’s post reminded me of Carl Jung’s answer to a student who was asking for advice about love. Jung answered,
I cannot tell you what you should do. That must be left to the person who always knows what is best for other people.
Do you know people like that? Do you try to avoid them?
July 14, 2019
I have a very old friend who does that to me—usually shopping advice—and I’ve hated everything I ever bought at her promoting. Because it wasn’t MY sole decision but I guess I want to please her more than I want to please myself or maybe because she’s dominated me since we were five. Fortunately she lives far away and we only shop together twice a year (her favorite activity) so I can return stuff after she leaves town. LOL
That’s a friendly solution to the problem. It’s nice that you have a long-time friend like her — my best friend from grammar school days passed away 24 years ago. I still miss her.
My mother always knew what was best for other people and used often to embarrass me by telling complete strangers what they were doing wrong. Unfortunately as she was my mother I couldn’t avoid her!
😀
To tired to be an expert on thing.
Coffee is on
That’s a great reason not to do it!
Yes, I know people who always have the answers for everyone’s problems.
I’ve had people ask me what they should do in a certain situation and my answer has always been “I can’t tell you what you should do, you have to decide that for yourself”.
If I think they might make a poor decision I might tell them what I personally would do and tell them why, but say we’re all different, one size doesn’t fit all, and there are no guarantees in life. One can never predict the future.
I probably shouldn’t answer that. I might incriminate myself! 😀
I have always had a bad habit of judging complete strangers silently. or sometimes not so silently.
for instance I’ve always said it’s awful that people don’t stop immediately for emergency cars and ambulances… and that ‘not hearing them’ is NO excuse.
then a few days ago I came within INCHES of a head on collision with a police car. I had NPR on the radio and the A/C blower on high because the car was still hot from starting it. both lanes that he should have been able to go in were full … I was to turn left when the arrow came on… apparently he had his siren on and he was barreling in my lane as fast as he could. as soon as I saw him I stopped. a women in the lane next to me seemed to be screaming! he very quickly moved just enough in time to avoid me. I have no doubt I would have been dead. and maybe even he as well. so… needless to say… I won’t be judging anyone who doesn’t stop for them anymore! but I WILL be even more careful and observant. a person never knows another person’s life.
Wow! I’m so glad no one was hurt.
I really, really try to not tell people what they should do – But I simply cannot help myself when it comes to my husband and brother, who I play the “mom card” on more than I should.
It is hard sometimes. 😀
I’ve a friend, and a few others that are forever telling me their expert opinion of how I should live and so forth…
Sometimes it’s quite a small remark, and it annoys me…just today – when I mentioned that quite possibly I couldn’t get away down Sth this month as this lurgy had put me behind…her comment “well, what is the point of getting cold…” that was the point, go down Sth and see if the cold would stop me settling away down there; I let it ride…
And she is usually on her tack of this being my “forever house”…i.e. until the day a long box comes by. This isn’t ever going to be my f/house for a couple of reasons: landlords sell up; and it’s not really a nice house…
and almost ex-friend who occasionally arrives back in life prefaces anything that is going to mean “I’m expert” starts with “….but Sweetie….” I can stand even that salutation!
and don’t let’s get started on well meaning “family”
oops left out some “I can’t stand that salutation….” the n’t left out.
I thought of you when I wrote this post. You have more than your share of them! Fortunately you have plenty of blogging friends who admire you and are rooting for you.
thanks Jean and others…I used to get riled up at the point of chat, which usually had them, just going deeper…maybe it’s experiences now that show me that “silence or a slight head nod” is all that is needed…and then I just turn around and do the opposite or nothing! Depending on what I was aiming for in the first place…
That reminds me of when Kaitlin was starting out in her career and Andy’s sisters had a wonderful chat with her, sharing their experiences and wisdom. She listened intently, nodding her head, and they felt great that they could be of such help to her. Unfortunately she ruined it by saying Andy had told her to do respond that way, then ignore the advice and go do what you had already planned to do. 😀
Once my former sister-in-law and i agreed not to discuss certain topics I’ve been pretty much free from other people telling me how I should live. I do have to work at not doing this to our daughter, though. I have learned to say, “I’m sure whatever you choose will be right for you.”
That’s a wise decision!