Don’t Wish Your Life Away!

Happiness, knowledge, not in another place but this place, not for another hour but this hour.
—Walt Whitman, Leaves of Grass

I worked in a factory during summer vacations when I was in college. It was hot and noisy, and one time my boyfriend was coming down for a special weekend…we were going to some plays in San Francisco. During a break I mentioned I could hardly wait for the weekend. Helen, one of the gals, yelled at me, “Don’t wish your life away!” She had a point.

I’ve been thinking of her a lot lately when I read how people could hardly wait for 2020 to be behind us. There are no guarantees in life, and I’m with Helen and Whitman. If you’re going to be happy and/or learn new things don’t wait for/count on the future. Do it now.

Not everyone agrees…what about you?

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32 Responses to Don’t Wish Your Life Away!

  1. tammy j says:

    I spent a lot of time last year reading Eckhart Tolle. like Walt Whitman in his time… Eckhart teaches exactly that!
    he simply believes in living in the NOW. and as a sideline… without our Ego.
    the part of us that always has to one-up someone in some way.
    we’re just very self centered creatures I guess… judging from all the arrogant egos throughout mankind’s history and that are still marching around!
    very interesting.

    • Jean says:

      “… judging from all the arrogant egos throughout mankind’s history and that are still marching around!”

      The concepts are age-old, especially the part about avoiding self-righteous judgments. Tolle’s version is,

      “…notice as much as you can your negative thoughts (about other people, individuals or groups, yourself, a place, a situation you find yourself in, something that is happening but “shouldn’t” etc.) Notice the mind’s tendency to find fault with people and situations, to complain, to pronounce righteous judgment.”

      Easier said than done, right? Do you think that’s a good thing to work on, or do you thing he’s going too far?

  2. My swing goes both ways. Sometimes I work at mindfulness, living in the moment and other times I’m the one wishing my life away. I don’t think any of my wishes are unrealistic, though…not pipe dreams. It’s funny, but this afternoon I wrote my next blog post and I used that very phrase about wishing my life away.

  3. tammy j says:

    I don’t think he’s going too far. I never have thought about it as a good or bad thing to work on.
    our innate tendency to JUDGE people can’t be good. at least I wouldn’t think so! I think judging and being critical just causes more and more division.
    surely anything that helps us grow and understand and CARE for each other?
    I see that as good. but YES! it’s not an easy thing to do. that’s why I’m still and forever working on it! LOLOL.

  4. Ginny Hartzler says:

    Yes! My mom used to say it is a sin to wish time away. Each moment we have is precious, and nothing else is promised to us. If only we could all manage to live in and enjoy the moment!

  5. So true!

    And another *interesting* aspect of “Can’t wait for 2020 to be over” is…. Did some magical thing happen, when “the ball dropped” and 2021 came in? Was anything any different, at 12:01AM on Jan. 1, 2021… Than it was, at 11:59PM Dec. 31, 2020? -smile-

  6. Hootin' Anni says:

    I see nothing wrong with wishing for a happier future. Or wanting something better. It’s human nature. Living in the now is all well and good, but wishing for better isn’t wrong in my book either. I think hoping & wanting ties in with the now…to strive for a future.

    If everyone lived for the now, there’d be no lights,etc. We’d be in the dark so to speak.

    • Jean says:

      It’s fine to have goals, a sense of direction. The trick is to enjoy the process of working towards them. The best thing about our land was working on projects together with Kaitlin when she was young. In 2011 it all went up in flames, so Andy and I rebuilt. Kaitlin has a highly successful career with a good work /life balance.

  7. MadSnapper says:

    It is good to be happy in the moment or time of life, but foolish to live in the now. I have two sons who have done that their whole lives and it has not worked out well… a friend also lives in the NOW and is older than I am and in deep financial straights. i do believe we should make the best of what we are living in and try to enjoy life, to me there is a difference. there is much I would prefer but nothing that i can’t live with.
    when i say I wish, it doesn’t mean a true wish, but that I want something to change that makes me unhappy. I say I wish I had an Apple computer, that doesn’t mean I suffer because i can’t have one, it just means i would like to have one and am happy with my HP.
    as for judging others, humans are humans, we all do it, some more than others. all we can do it try to do it less and be kind. what i said about my kids is not judging them, it is pointing out they have made horride mistakes and are living proof we can’t live in the now, we need to look forward and make plans.

    • Jean says:

      I’ve always been a planner and creative problem solver and that has brought me great joy in the present moment. One of my favorite sayings is,

      The secret of happiness is to ask yourself every day, What’s good about your life? What needs to be done? How can I get this done and enjoy the process?

      It’s not an either-or thing. I majored in physics at college because I wanted never to be stuck in a boring job. I like a certain amount of challenge in my life.

  8. Ann Thompson says:

    I completely agree with this. I’m guilty of frequently saying I can’t wait till my next day off but every time I say something like that think about why I’m wishing the days away.

    • Jean says:

      Yes, and too much looking forward to the day off puts a lot of pressure on it when you get there. Although I do wish you had more time off and didn’t have to work so hard. It’s easy for me to say make the most of the present, I’m retired and Andy and I don’t have a lot of future left. That makes a huge difference.

  9. sillygirl says:

    The now is the only thing we truly have – don’t waste it trying to be in the past or future. This is also freeing to me – most of my past-beings are things I feel bad about – then I look around and I am not there but here. This is all I have to deal with. I worry about future things but right now is what I have. I don’t forget that freedom has another side and that is responsibility. Don’t throw away this moment.

    • Jean says:

      It ‘s a relief to hear you talk about responsibility, we hear too much about rights and freedom nowadays and not enough about what our obligations are. One phrase I like is,

      < blockquote>Do the work of worrying.

      That means see if there is something constructive we can do to prepare. If so, do it. If not focus our energy and attention on something more constructive, or fun.

  10. nick says:

    I agree. Seize the time! If you have some burning ambition, pursue it right now. Also, appreciate the present moment instead of mentally jumping into the future or some sort of daydream.

  11. Myra Guca says:

    Gosh, I can’t begin to count the times I’ve heard that … nodded my head … and even tried doing so for a period. Being a compulsive planner and ‘just-in-caser’, I’m lean towards what Sandra’s said. Some days are better than others.

    Let’s carpe the heck out of the diem!

    • Jean says:

      See my response to her above.

      I love making contingency plans. People who say,

      Man plans and God laughs.

      don’t understand that plans aren’t cast in concrete. As the saying goes,

      If Plan A doesn’t work, there are 25 more letters of the alphabet.

  12. Addition…. I do agree with Sandra and others…. Wisdom says, we have to do some planning. Other wise, we will not have nice older years. And thus, our older years, will not be a nice ‘now.’

    But I understand your first take. This moment, is our now. Find as much Joy in it, as is possible. The next day or even moment, is not ‘for-sure’…

  13. Cool topic!!!!!!

    Look at the different views on it, which can be taken!!!!!!!!!

  14. Linda Sand says:

    Do we need to wish for the future to choose what to do in the now? Does wishing for better health help me choose my food more carefully now? Does wishing to give thoughtfully help me decide to evaluate charities now? Does wishing for better relationships encourage to me call my brother today? I think we need both. Just like we need the experiences of the past to help us make good decisions now. Yes, we need to live in the now but isn’t that influenced by both the past and the future?

    • Jean says:

      I eat a very healthy diet and exercise an hour or two a day. It’s partly for the future but mainly because it makes me so happy right now.

      Andy and I were big savers most of our lives. I didn’t feel deprived and enjoyed our simple life, and it was comforting to know we had a safety net. Now we’re spending a lot more, but we’re falling apart a lot faster than our bank account. It’s still all good.

  15. Rose says:

    Look at THIS POST from from 2013. It does not talk in depth but it does show that I have thought about this. I am still bad to wish to be past things. I say I am wishing my life away. And as things have happened, I find myself not handling things well. When I was younger, I could work and get a lot done, right up until the time to leave for an appt. And not sure when it started, maybe after Roger’s stroke…but if I have an appt at 2:00 in the afternoon, I get very little done till it is over.

    • Jean says:

      Thank you for the link! If I have an appointment I don’t get much of anything else done that day. And it’s OK, that’s the way it is. Neither Andy nor I get much done during the day, but we don’t worry about it, we just laugh about it and keep plodding along. At our age we don’t have that much time left so we appreciate the present as best we can.

  16. an interesting concept…which right now for me is “something in a half way mode” as I wish that something hadn’t happened late Oct (yes last year) which is have repercussions as I enter 2021.

    This morning is basically the first day some organisations and businesses are back in business – some still in holiday mode. So I had a number of calls to make – one had “we value you, please stay on the line…” the other had an answerphone.

    The second one phoned back right when I was making a concoction for lunch and I had to turn off everything…how I had “wished” the return call had come later!

    But at least both those health add-ons are all fixed – change the first call/appt as it’s difficult to be in 2 places at once/miles away from other. And the 2nd one is the shuttle – all done and dusted. OTHER THAN I need to have CASH…something that hasn’t been in my purse since Mar last year! So I will need to go to hole in wall before the shuttle day – 2 weeks away…

    Maybe that will be the incentive to leave the house … since I got a bit sicker over the silly season. And yes getting better, note actually cooked something properly today 🙂

    • Jean says:

      I’m glad you are getting better…I hope when you go out you’re feeling all right and it turns out to be a plus. Fingers crossed.

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