The poet and short-story writer Raymond Carver said it was love. The last piece he wrote, as he was dying of lung cancer, was Late Fragment:
And did you get what
you wanted from this life, even so?
I did.
And what did you want?
To call myself beloved, to feel myself
beloved on the earth.
I first read that years ago and it has stuck with me. It reminds me of Max Ehrmann’s Desiderata, written in 1927:
Go placidly amid the noise and the haste, and remember what peace there may be in silence. As far as possible, without surrender, be on good terms with all persons.
Speak your truth quietly and clearly; and listen to others, even to the dull and the ignorant; they too have their story.
Avoid loud and aggressive persons; they are vexatious to the spirit. If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain or bitter, for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.
Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans. Keep interested in your own career, however humble; it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.
Exercise caution in your business affairs, for the world is full of trickery. But let this not blind you to what virtue there is; many persons strive for high ideals, and everywhere life is full of heroism.
Be yourself. Especially do not feign affection. Neither be cynical about love; for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment, it is as perennial as the grass.
Take kindly the counsel of the years, gracefully surrendering the things of youth.
Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune. But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings. Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.
Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here.
And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should. Therefore be at peace with God, whatever you conceive Him to be. And whatever your labors and aspirations, in the noisy confusion of life, keep peace in your soul. With all its sham, drudgery and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world. Be cheerful. Strive to be happy.
I read that years ago, and at the time the part
Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here.
was something I needed to hear.
And, of course, the ending still fits:
Be cheerful. Strive to be happy.
Yeah, I can do that.
January 15, 2023
That 2nd part is something to live by. My favorite passage “Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune. But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings. Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness” gives strength.
I’m a Stoic, which means nurturing strength of spirit, expecting that challenges, hard times, will come but not letting that get in the way of living fully and deeply. And with joy.
thank you for sharing this, I wish I had read it when I was a teen or when I first got married, there were many times in my life I felt all of the above. the passage Anni likes is the one i struggle with, dark imaginings are with me since birth. the passage that spoke to you is also one I have needed my entire life, that I do matter and that i do belong here. Hate and self hate are rampant and this is perfect for the answer. todays theme on several blogs is similar and we watched on CNN the news this am and saw the shop owner in SanFrancisco hoseing a sleeping woman that was freezing, on the sidewalk outside his shop… the 10 minutes of that portion broke my heart. a church added sprinklers to keep the homeless from sleeping in the shadows of a stature, a neighborhood purchased giant boulders to block the sidewalk for sleeping.
That was sad, but the woman wasn’t sleeping. He had asked her to move so he could clean the sidewalk and as I understood it she became belligerent. The whole homeless situation is tragic, especially when mentally ill people are involved. I’m not saying he should have turned the water on her, but he had asked for help from the authorities before. Store owners are having trouble staying in business. That’s why it’s so tragic.
I think someone gifted me a copy of Desiderata when I graduated. Unfortunately, I was much to wise (ha!) to take it to heart. Maybe that sort of wisdom comes later to some than others. Like Sandra, that next-to-last paragraph resonates. Heck, I’m often cowed when an aggressive driver comes to close to my rear bumper and I have to remind myself, “I have a RIGHT to be here, too.”
Yes, that’s powerful!
Thanks for the reminders!
Hugs!
Hugs to you, too!
The bible says that love is the most important thing of all. Because if you have that, then all the other commandments fall into place. So does everything else.
It makes things simple. 🙂
Lately, I’ve been striving to let go of worry. There’s a phrase that goes something like, “Worry is like a rocking chair; lots of action but no progress.” Tammy and I used to laugh about how hard is was for us to let go of worry. I still miss her and think of her often.
I miss her too. 🙁
Yep, always keep laughing! At the world and at yourself.
We have plenty of chances to practice. 🙂
Oh, I really like this. I am working hard at being cheerful and striving to be happy.
Good for you! It’s worth working on. 🙂