That was Stephen Covey’s fifth habit in The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People.
Yesterday’s post reminded me of him, so I asked ChatGPT what he would suggest about discussing political views. It wrote:
Start with genuine curiosity.
- Ask questions.
- Try to understand not just what they believe, but why they believe it.
- Listen until they feel understood.
Build an emotional bank account.
- Build trust and respect, create openness.
- If people feel attacked, they become defensive and stop listening.
Look for shared values.
- Most political disagreements are not about whether people value freedom, security, fairness, opportunity, or community.
- They are often disagreements about how best to achieve those values.
Describe your view rather than argue for it.
- Explain your reasoning and experiences.
- Avoid trying to “win.”
- Be willing to learn something yourself.
Practice humility.
- Covey often emphasized principles over ego.
- Enter the conversation recognizing that your own understanding may be incomplete.
Aim for a “third alternative.”
- One of Covey’s favorite ideas was that there may be a better solution than either side currently sees.
- Instead of “Who’s right?” ask, “What are we missing?”
If the other person remains unmoved, Covey would probably consider the conversation successful if there was greater mutual understanding. He often taught that influence flows from trust and character more than from clever arguments.
I agree about trying to understand where other people are coming from, but I personally don’t try to persuade other people. I do share articles and my opinions with like-minded friends, and I also look for articles that interview people who have other opinions and try to understand why they think the way they do. Polarization is real.
Yesterday Ann commented:
This makes me wonder if people are leaning more towards their original beliefs or is it based on how much they oppose the opposition.
I’m thinking in political terms here. I know a person who is very democratic. I don’t know if she believes in her candidate as much as she opposes the other.
This article agrees with her. It says that some voters think their values are so different from the opposition’s that they perceive the other party as a threat. They will vote for a seriously flawed candidate in order to defeat the other party.
And, of course, there’s the question of where people get their information. I subscribe to sources that get good ratings for fact checking from Media Bias/Fact Check.
The world is changing fast, and a lot of those changes are scary. But I’ve always been interested in history, so I figure if I have to live through it, I might as well learn something from it all.
June 19, 2026
I personally try to never discuss politics with anyone. Humans are divided on every subject and any subject about half and half, and discussing changes nothing. or so I have found. I do try to understand how they see what they see as opposed to what I see and think… and most of the time can see why they think the way they do…
Same here. I think ChatGPT was too optimistic. Avoid politics, connect with people in other ways.
I’ve never been one to force my opinions on a person. I’m willing to discuss our different views and always will agree to disagree if we can’t come to a mutual understanding. I try to stay away from conversations about politics, religion and other more serious topics with people I don’t know well enough.
Yes, the same here.
Polarization is, indeed, real! Even among certain family members. We’ve tacitly agreed to disagree.
Yes. 🙂
My Grandma used to say everyone is entitled to their own wrong opinion LOL!
That’s a good one!
Stephen Covey’s fifth habit is such a masterclass in empathy, and having ChatGPT break down his philosophy on political discourse is incredibly timely. It is so true that most disagreements aren’t about whether we value things like security or fairness, but rather the path we take to get there.
🙂
Well, I agree that you should not be argumentative. That would only provoke strong defense of their own views.
Yes. 🙂
…practice humility can be difficult.
🙂
same answer as the one I put on yesterday, everyone believes they are right and it is a waste of time to try to change them…… I just wish the news reported facts and not their opinions, like they did years ago. let people make their own decisions instead of spouting their belief
Yes.
I like to know political news because political decisions impact people’s lives to some extent. Sometimes, my friends and I like to joke about politics over coffee. It’s not a debate, but rather a topic to be discussed. I think it’s better than discussing private affairs.
As long as there are no strong opinions, that can work. In the U.S. you need to be careful.
My friends and I aren’t political fanatics. That’s just something we joke about.