The group I went to Stanford-in-Germany with is having its 50th anniversary this year. I’m skipping the reunion but did contribute to the newsletter. We were supposed to submit a page or two telling what we’ve been doing, so this is what I sent:
So what have I been doing since Beutelsbach? Mostly having a good time. I graduated in physics in 1961 and worked at the High Energy Physics Lab at Stanford that summer. I met my future husband there, then went to graduate school at UCSD for one semester. I decided I didn’t want to get my Ph. D. but wanted to get a challenging job using my problem-solving skills and earn some money to do more traveling. So I moved back to Palo Alto and worked in Mountain View.
Andy got his Ph. D. in 1964. We immediately got married and moved to Orsay, France for 13 months. We spent our weekends and vacations traveling around Europe, then took two months to come back to the States the long way…via the Middle East, East Africa, India, Thailand, Australia and New Zealand. Then we settled at Cornell for 8 ½ years.
We moved to Los Alamos in 1974 and have been here ever since. My daughter, Kaitlin, had been born in 1969 so I took ten years out to be a stay-at-home mom and volunteer, then worked at the Los Alamos National Laboratory developing software for 9 years. Our group was collaborating with another group in Germany so that meant several trips to Germany, with side trips to Switzerland, France, Austria and Scotland (my daughter spent her year abroad at Saint Andrews). Andy and I also visited her for a vacation that year.
Here’s a picture of the four of us (including our son-in-law) at their wedding at the Chicago Botanic Garden in 2008:
I have two weekly blogs: Cheerful Monk and Transforming Stress. They give a feel for what I’m up to now.
We were actually asked to write about our “… life, loves, passions, accomplishments, insights, wisdom or whatever you would like to share with the rest of us on what has happened to you over the last 50 years.” So we had a wide choice. I was first just going to include the picture of the It takes a long time to learn to be young picture above, say I’m enjoying my second childhood even more than my first one and refer them to my blogs. But I decided I should add a few more words to make a bit of a story. So I wrote about the times I, more or less, managed to pass myself off as an adult. It’s as good a story as any, and it was easy to write. If anyone really cares they can read these blogs.
It was a good exercise for me because it reinforced how steadfastly I’ve refused to stop being a little kid. The summer before I started Stanford a little voice inside suddenly said, “They’ll never civilize me!” It was right. 🙂
What about you? Do you think of yourself as an adult? Do you think we should stop being playful and silly as we get older?
I love knowing all about you now.
Life is too serious to take seriously, but I do.
Jean, you live in an apartment; I have a house & yards to take care of, & there’s my exercise etc. Most people move into something smaller at my age, but will I move? NEVER! I plan to die in this house.
A nice looking family you have there.
We do need to parse what aspect of the child is going to be preserved. Part of it is enjoying fun, but then there is the naive part and the part that throws a temper when we don’t get what we want, or goes into a depression because we don’t see how we will get through today. There is also the part where we don’t take responsibility, or calls someone else names, or just leaves a yucky mess.
I love and cherish the fun part, but can never truly give up being an adult. It seems to me that fun is neither a virtue nor a vice in itself. To the extent we are caught up in duties, it can be a tool to be used selectively for a purpose, such as you do with your cartoons, but is this truly being childlike, or merely pretending?
But on a serious note, there is the childish trait of being curious about the world around us, whether this was in terms of physics or anything else. Working at The Lab, I found that too many Ph.d’s lost this shortly after getting their diploma. They could seriously use some more childishness!
So have you given much consideration to which part of the kid you are trying to preserve?
For me growing up equates to grimness and doing what you don’t want to do. I hope to remain permanently immature.
I see a loose connection to Jean. My daughter went to Stanford for 2 yrs. My 2 brothers graduated from Cornell.
cont…graduated Cornell in chemical engineering. There are 12 grad. chemical engineers in my family, mother’s family, uncle’s family. Only 2 worked in that field. The rest went on to do other things.
bikehikebabe,
I love hearing about your life too. If you really love your house then the work is worth it. I went house hunting several times but never found a house I liked as well as this apartment. It works for us, especially with all the memories we have built over the years.
Looney,
This site is about emotional management, so I clearly agree with you there. I’m talking about keeping childlike curiosity, wonder and enthusiasm. A fellow from Lawrence Livermore gave interviews at Stanford my senior year. We hit it off because of his enthusiasm so I was planning to work at that lab after I graduated. They even processed my security clearance. But when I went to the lab to see what group I should join everyone seemed so spiritless that I had to back out. That’s why I went to UCSD for that one semester. I felt bad about the security clearance but there shouldn’t have been such a disconnect between the fellow doing the interviewing and the people I would have been working with. I would have felt buried alive.
Evan,
I worked hard in school so when it came time to work I could find jobs that I enjoyed doing. I’m lucky that it worked out for me. I was depressed for a while as a kid and never wanted to feel trapped like that again. It was great motivation.
bikehikebabe,
I love that connection between us. I find it fascinating that only 2 of the 12 worked in chemical engineering. What did the others end up doing?
I love your approach to life. It’s terrific! And I love having you as a friend….
gaelikaa,
Thank you! I love reading your posts too. They make me feel close to you.
I enjoyed the pottered history of what you sent for the 50th anniversary. The mini poster at the top was cute too.
It helps the connections of this great worldwide web – even though we rarely meet realtime, every time you open your computer there you are connecting with me. I might well up in my daytime and you are actually in bed snoozing but I always imagine you are just ‘next door’ as such…
It’s now mid-afternoon on Saturday another wet day in Paradise. Yesterday was quite fine but I was entertaining a series of repairmen – who were forever coming up the front stairs and requesting yet another something…
Cathy,
I love hearing the details of your life. You also made me curious about the time. As I write this the time here in Los Alamos is Saturday, 12:34 a.m. The time in Aukland is 6:34 p.m. Given my crazy hours..getting to bed in the wee hours of the morning and sleeping late, we’re often awake at the same time. I think that’s neat. 🙂
I also checked the globe and you’re very close to the International Date Line. As I recall when they celebrated the year 2000 you were among the first people to celebrate.
Yes Cathy, the computer has made it a small world.
Rummuser,
The time in Pune is GMT+5:30 hours. (We’re GMT-7 hours.) Why the half hour difference?
tikno,
It looks as if Indonesia is in three different time zones (mostly two, but there is one section…). Where exactly are you? Jakarta is GMT+7 hours, so it’s 14 hours later than us. Assuming I’m not completely confused. Which is always possible. 🙂
Cathy,
See what you started. It explains why I always get to bed so late, doesn’t it? 🙂
Now everything falls into place. I have been wondering about the background and with this post, I can stop wondering.
I am still asked to grow up or asked as to when I will grow up. I suppose that that answers the question.
Jean asked “I find it fascinating that only 2 of the 12 worked in chemical engineering. What did the others end up doing?”
After becoming chemical engineers (a family thing) they went on to other things. My older brother took over the family business in WV. My younger brother went to Wharton (business) & became Vice Pres. of Varian (CA). Of my double 1st cousins the youngest took over the family business in NC. The older one became a pediatrician. (double 1st cousin = their father & mine were brothers, their mother & mine were sisters.)
Must start on hike before too hot. Bye
Rummuser,
Yes, I think we both agree with Arthur C. Clarke’s epitaph for himself:
bikehikebabe,
Thanks for the details. That’s a fascinating story. 🙂